Friday Blahs

Do you ever have the feeling that everyone around you is getting ahead in this world and you are dragging behind? I’ve been feeling that way since I returned to work on Tuesday and I am so glad that it is Friday because I really need a quiet weekend to decompress from the week. I’ve been feeling under valued and under appreciated for months (maybe years?) at my job but it has really come to a head recently. I’m hoping things will get better, but I don’t see that happening anytime soon so I may have a big decision in my near future.

The situation with Nate is also at a breaking point. He has more good days than bad but when he has a bad day you better watch out. I met with the Special Education Coordinator for the school district yesterday and filled out paper work so he can be evaluated. He is scheduled for his evaluation on February 14th and I hope it goes well. Someone will be coming to his school and taking a social history and performing a psych evaluation and a classroom observation. I’m sure I will be super nervous that day. I will then meet with the Special Ed Coordinator in March to discuss the results.

I’m heading over to the gym for the first time in over a week and I have every intention of working out some of my frustrations on the elliptical. After such a long week I need a massage and a glass of wine but I will settle for sweating and cold water.

Miss Manners 2013

Have you heard of the latest craze in thank you notes? When you go to a kids party these days you leave with a goody bag full of treats and a thank you note. Is it just me or is that weird? I know that everyone these days has a lot going on, but is it too much to ask for a little bit of a personal touch...

Growing up I was taught to send a thank you note when I received presents. As an adult I have been praised for always sending a nice note for gifts we have received. I have been told that it is a bygone era when Miss Manners ruled the World and a note of thanks really meant something. Maybe I'm just old fashioned but I feel like it's the least I can do when someone goes out of their way to buy a gift.

I guess that is why I am so bothered by getting a thank you before my present is even opened. A generic thank you doesn't take that much effort an almost seems lazy. I like the person receiving my note to know that I appreciate the gift they gave. Maybe I'm being too harsh because at least they thought enough to write a card.

I have given too many gifts without receiving a verbal thank you, let alone a card. At this point I have begun to just drop those people off my thank you card list. It's like the Christmas card list, if you can't be bothered to send a Christmas card then you get dropped from my list. It's that simple. If you can't take a few minutes to thank me for a gift that I went out of my way to pick out then I'm not thanking you either. I'm pretty sure those people don't care about getting thank you notes anyway. I'm not going to let it get to me. My mother can obsess about it for both of us.

The Dreaded Call…

As a parent of a school-aged child you are always in fear of the dreaded call…from someone at the school telling you that your kid has done something bad. I have been on the other end of the call a few times already and I always apologize and feel like a fool when I hang up. How can I not? Every kid is going to have bad days and Nate is just like other kids, but lately he has been having more bad days at school and it reflects poorly on me as his mother.

The call I got last week was that Nate refused to sit during circle time and he kept getting up. Now picture a room of 4-year olds with one that keeps getting up, running around and not listening. It distracts the other kids and annoys the hell out of the teacher. Lunch time comes around and he refuses to sit in his seat again. When he is told 3 times to sit down he clenches his fists, stamps his feet, starts to cry and yells at the teacher. Lovely right? I’m blushing just thinking about it.

This one day wouldn’t be a problem but this has become more of the norm since November. Nate has been having some emotional issues since we came back home after the hurricane. He refuses to sleep in his bed at night, is very emotional (crying or angry and yelling) and clingy with me especially. He almost wasn’t invited to his best friend’s birthday party this past weekend because he was crying too much at school and Jason didn’t want to be his friend anymore! I felt terrible when I heard that but I understood where the kid was coming from. No one wants to be friends with a cry baby.

I spoke to Nate’s teacher and we decided to start with a sticker chart at home for specific things he needed to work on. I found a site with super hero reward charts (so exciting!) and we were off to a great start. Every day Nate had 5 things to work on and if he got stickers for all 5 he could have a piece of candy after dinner. He loved getting stickers for getting dressed in the morning, being good at school, eating his lunch, going potty and wiping and washing hands and brushing teeth. Every week we switched it up a little depending on the previous week. Then the holidays came…

Every year for an entire month my whole life is a nightmare and this year was no different. All bets are off, there is no schedule, we eat whatever is convenient and I hope for the best. I realize now that Nate needs a schedule and I wasn’t doing him any favors by being off so much because he became even more clingy. Ugh. Back to square one.

Yesterday I had another dreaded call…with the special education department for Pre-K. I had to bite the bullet and schedule a time to go in and fill out the paperwork so I can have Nate evaluated. He doesn’t want to talk to me when he has a bad day, he won’t look you in the eye and he cries if he thinks you’ll be mad at him. I’m at a loss for how to make this better so I figured I may as well call in the professionals. God help me.

Can I get a little help?

In the healthcare industry customer service is HUGE. Unhappy patients mean low HCAP scores which mean lower reimbursement rates. Word of mouth is what makes hospitals their money because when you have a choice of which hospital to go to you are most definitely picking the one that you hear positive things about. Have you ever heard someone say, “I heard that hospital is awful so that’s where I’m having my surgery!”? Of course not and that is why there are people who teach customer service to employees of large businesses.

I happen to be someone who is not really a people person but I am also smart enough to know that my job is based on being friendly and accommodating with donors and I think I handle myself quite well.  I also know myself well enough that I got out of retail at the first job offer I had after college. I only worked retail seasonally while I was in college and I actually liked my job and my co-workers…but I HATED customers. I consider myself a good customer so I did not like people messing up the clothes and being rude. I preferred to work on the deliveries and clean the stock room but I was very accommodating when people needed help.

Which brings me to my point for the day…I really despise going into a store and not being able to get help. There should be someone working the floor at all times in case you need a size or you are looking for something specific and you can’t find it. In the age of texting and emails people are no longer looking to interact with real people. When I go to CVS or the grocery store I have the option of self checkout. Now don’t get me wrong I am loving self checkout because I hate lines and I usually only have a few things. Unfortunately there are times when I need some help and I can never get any.

For example, I usually pick up groceries before work because I drop Nate at school at 8am and I still have 20 minutes to kill on a normal day. When I get to Stop & Shop there is not one cashier available but there are 6 self checkouts. Normally this isn’t a problem because I only get a limited amount of groceries. If I have a day off however I will pick up a lot more groceries and that is when I want a REAL cashier to help with my groceries. Is that asking too much? I remember the days that you got a cashier and a bagger! The self checkout area is usually limited to a few bags and if I am getting a shitload of groceries it is just a pain so I prefer a conveyer belt and a live person.

CVS is a whole different story. The Southampton store added self checkout and they no longer have a person at the register. I don’t want to sound ageist but people over a certain age do not get the self checkout. If I run in to get something quick I do not want to be stuck behind the older person who has no idea how to scan a coupon or use their credit card. I honestly don’t think it should be a problem to have one cashier at a store. I’m all for technology but sometimes a personal touch is necessary.

P.S. I have been trying to upload a picture but it's not working...and it is stressing me out so you have to deal with the blurry one!

Mother of the Year

I was chatting with one of my friends from college this morning and she told me that her parents are staying with her. She was saying that she really needs a break and I wondered how long they were there. I let out an audible gasp when she said 3 weeks! I love my parents but as an adult I have no desire to live under the same roof. When I had to stay there last year after the hurricane for 9 days I was going crazy. When you live with someone for any short period of time it is like they are invading your space or vice versa.

My mother has been watching Nate since I had to go back to work when he was 11 weeks old. In the last 4 years he has become quite attached to his Grammie and she misses him when she has a day “off”. Nate sees it as a normal day and I see it as having to have my house clean at all times. My mother is having surgery next month and I am looking forward to not having a clean house. That may sound weird, but having floors that you can eat off of at all times is exhausting. When I come home from work I want to spend time with Nate and Love and not worry about doing the dishes and dusting. I want to put Nate to bed and relax in bed with a book or magazine. Spend an hour watching Revenge and not being stressed about folding the laundry. I also don’t want my weekends bogged down with chores while Nate plays and Love relaxes. I want to not feel stressed about running errands or visiting friends because it is cutting into the time I have left to clean and hopefully relax for an hour or so Sunday night.

I was so relieved when Tara said that her mother is obsessed with laundry (even doing it on Christmas!) and keeps rearranging her kitchen. My mother is obsessed with my dishes. She cannot stand anything in my sink but I normally do the dishes after dinner and anything after that sits in the sink until I am making dinner the next night. She insists on hand washing everything even though I have a dishwasher and it drives me nuts. She also puts things away and then I can’t find them because they are in the wrong drawer or cabinet. I rearranged my kitchen counters before the holidays and my mother told me she was so glad I did because you can see them from my living room and it was a mess. My counters are always clean but she didn’t like where I had things and now she thinks it’s much better. So do I, but I would never tell someone their counters are a mess…okay so I told her that hers are a disaster after she said that to me…but it’s true and she admitted it because she does have crap all over.

Tara and I agree that it’s nice to have help with the kids but instead of paying someone to watch them you pay the price by having your nosy parent watch them. I am not Suzie homemaker and I fully admit it. I also have no desire to be the perfect housekeeper or mother of the year. I have a full-time job that takes a lot out of me and come home to a second one. I’m doing the best I can and although I’m not perfect I think we do okay…and so does my family and that’s all that really matters.

ShopRite Can Can Sale

My Grandmother passed away January 15, 1999 and it is a day that I will never forget. It’s one of those days that I can remember small details that normally you wouldn’t remember a few hours after they happened and most certainly not 14 years later.

My Grandmother was a bit of a hoarder. Not a hoarder like you see on TLC or A&E, so I suppose she would be considered a classic pack rat. She had several rooms in her house that were chock full of items that she couldn’t bear to get rid of. She lived in a split-level ranch and my Mother’s old bedroom downstairs was where she kept her stockpile. Now that I think of it, maybe she was more like those crazy coupon ladies on TLC than a hoarder. If there was a sale on non-perishable items my Grandmother was there and she was loading up.

There was nothing my Grandmother loved more than the ShopRite Can Can sale. It was the closest supermarket to her house and she would buy her beloved tuna fish and soup as if the world was ending tomorrow. She had metal shelving like most people keep in their garages and it was filled with cans. I was always amazed by the amount of stuff that she had because my mother was not into stockpiling food like that and we had four mouths to feed and she only had one. Of course she cooked for her two dogs J.D. and Tasha like they were her children. I swear those dogs ate better than I do on most days.

On the day that she died I left work and rushed to the hospital but didn’t have a chance to see her before she passed. It was late when we left the hospital and we had to pick up her car. My Dad offered to go with my uncle to pick it up and that’s when I realized that my Grandmother died doing what she loved…her car was at ShopRite…and the Can Can sale was in full swing. We laughed when they returned to her house with the car and they opened the trunk. She had managed to get all of the groceries into the car before she got sick and an ambulance was called. My Grandmother was a tough lady and she died after stuffing her truck full of tuna fish, soup, vegetables and dog food. The Can Can sale began today and it made me smile…and I know that she is somewhere smiling too.

Sayonara 2012

It is officially 2013 and I am hoping that it is a better year than 2012. I have said that every January since 2010 so I don’t have high hopes, but one can dream. The end of 2012 was actually pretty good so I feel some momentum going into the new year that will bring along good vibes…if only it were that easy.

Putting away the Christmas decorations this year made me sad but not in the same way it normally does. I always feel like there’s so much build up to Christmas and then it just blows by with not enough time to spend with my family. This year we had more time with family but it still went too fast. I took Sunday to clean up the decorations early and get the house in order so I could relax on New Years Day. It was a good plan even though I would have loved to sit by the tree for a couple of extra nights before saying goodbye.

This year was special because Nate really understood Christmas and we had a lot of chats about different things that he is now starting to understand. It was the first year we discussed the Nativity and the birth of the baby Jesus. I even recorded the conversation on my phone because it was really cute. My mother has been trying to guilt me into taking him to church but I’m not quite ready for that but I still thought that he should know about the real meaning of Christmas. He gets the retail version of Christmas but I grew up with the Nativity and I think he should too even if it’s the Peanuts version for now anyway).

Christmas morning was a flurry of wrapping paper and super heroes before I even finished my coffee. I felt like screaming, “Do you know how many hours I spent wrapping all of those presents?” but I just sat back and took pictures. I was very impressed with how excited Nate was with each new toy and that his excitement also carried over to my presents. He ran over and helped me open them and made sure I liked each of them before heading back to his toys. He really is a sweet kid (I mean he is MY kid) and the look of joy on his face was the best. Christmas was special when he was a baby but now it is even more fun. From decorating the tree to opening presents the look of wonder on a kids face is something that you never get tired of. I will certainly miss it when he is a cranky teenager.

I’m starting the year off with plans to use one of my Christmas presents regularly. Love bought me a new camera since I stopped using my old one when I got the iPhone. I always complain about getting the pictures off of my phone so Love got me a nice camera that I cannot wait to use. In the last week I have already taken over 250 pictures and I’m looking forward to taking some pretty outdoor photos soon. I’m sure Nate will appreciate me taking photos of nature instead of having the camera in his face all the time.

 Nate and the Nativity

 Nate with his cousins opening presents

 Charlie loved all the wrapping paper

 Christmas Eve with Daddy

 Putting out the reindeer food

 Santa Came!

 Casual Nate :)

George Elf

I realized that I was going to post pictures from the adventures of our Elf on a Shelf and I never did. I curse the person who invented that fucking elf but it did help keep Nate in line so I should be thankful...but I'm not because it's a pain in the ass to move that God damned thing every night. Ask any parent who was dumb enough to buy one and they will agree.

George's first appearance of 2012 was tame

Love had him dangle from the kitchen ceiling fan

He took a ride in Nate's firetruck...

and one of his pirate ships

Dangling from my bedroom ceiling fan

Head first into the M&M's

Hangin' with Jessie and Woodys

Breakfast anyone?

Nate said he should play with my makeup...

I thought he should get drunk with Jessie and put on a tiara and makeup

 George Elf misses the Olympics

 Here's Georgey!

 Firing squad Elf style

 George misses Santa

 Stuck in the tree

 Dressed as Santa for company

 Continuing the Santa routine

His not so subtle way of telling Mickey to shut up

I think I may plan ahead next year and look for small props throughout the year that I can use...or I may just say he got lost on his way back from the North Pole.