A friend of mine shared a blog post on Facebook this week and it really hit home with me after this past Saturday. I have been very lucky as a parent because for the most part Nate is an angel when we are around other people. He’ll get hyper and act up a bit but in his 5 years he has saved his meltdowns for my house and my parent’s house. I have always thought that the comfort of both places and the people in them is what makes him think it is okay to go completely mental at the drop of a hat.
As far as I can remember Nate has only had one major meltdown in public and it happened last month. Of course I wonder if it is like childbirth and you forget how bad the pain really was. This particular incident happened the day after his birthday party. Nate had some Toys R Us gift cards so we took him to the store. He didn’t find exactly what he wanted so I suggested we try another Toys R Us or order the toys online instead of spending the money on something else. He agreed and we went to a second Toys R Us right down the road. We looked around and they didn’t have the toys he wanted either but he saw an Angry Birds mystery pack (a $3.00 little plastic bag that contains a small figure but it’s a crap shoot on which one you get) and he insisted he was going to buy it with his money. I calmly explained that if he spent the $3.00 he would not have enough money for both of the other toys if we ordered them. He said he didn’t care and grabbed it anyway. I grabbed it and put it back and told him we were leaving. He grabbed it again and ran to the next aisle. I grabbed him and he threw himself on the floor screaming that he was buying it with his money. At 7-months pregnant I had to pick him up and drag him out of the store while he screamed and cried. I was so angry at him for embarrassing me but honestly what parent hasn’t been there? I was lucky this wasn’t a regular occurrence. He apologized after he calmed down and we moved on. What else can you do?
Saturday was his first soccer practice and Nate is a nervous kid. He talked about practice all morning and kept asking when we were going because he was excited. I figured it would go well because one of his friends would be there. Then we got there and all he did was whine and cry about how he never wanted to play soccer, he hates his “man socks”, doesn’t need to practice, was hungry…he went on and on and after 45 minutes I finally lost it. I told Love to take him to the car and take him home. He started yelling and crying and Love took him away. I said goodbye to my friend and she kept saying that as parents we have all been there before. I know it’s true, but it is still embarrassing, and he was disruptive while the other parents were trying to enjoy their kids having fun. I’m not looking forward to this weekend when we get to try it all over again.
This blog post really made me realize that my friend is right. We have all been in a situation where your kid is totally embarrassing and it does not make you a bad parent when it happens. We had tantrums when we were young, and no matter what style of parenting you subscribe to you are going to hit bumps along the road. I think that if you handle them with dignity and take charge of the situation then you have nothing to be ashamed about. I know I sympathize with other parents when their children are challenging in public. It goes with the territory and I think this guy sums it up quite nicely…
themattwalshblog.com/2013/09/15/dear-parents-you-need-to-control-your-kids-sincerely-non-parents/
Wednesday, September 18, 2013
Tuesday, September 17, 2013
Pain in the Pelvis
Just when I was feeling great about this pregnancy…I’m almost 32 weeks along and have no signs of the preeclampsia that plagued the tail end of my pregnancy with Nate. I have no swelling, my blood pressure is great and I have no protein in my urine…smooth sailing for the next 8 weeks right? Of course not! Nothing in my life goes smoothly so I knew a bump was coming at some point…but I didn’t see this coming…
I have been having pain in my pelvic region for about 2 months now but it wasn’t too bad and it came and went, so I just thought it was the way he is positioned that was creating the problem. I bought a maternity belt, which I always wondered why anyone would need, but it was a miracle cure especially on days that I was on my feet a lot. Recently the pain has been a lot worse at night and especially when I try to roll over in bed or get out of the bed to go to the bathroom (which is almost an hourly ritual lately). Getting off the couch has also become a chore along with walking up stairs and getting in and out of the car. Alright, I guess if I look back it has been bad for a bit but I handle pain well so I’ve just chugged along.
This past weekend was a little busy. We started with Nate’s soccer practice and then headed to my parent’s house for some lunch and a visit with my brother and nephew. I was feeling sluggish and slow but I didn’t sleep well so I thought I was just tired. We got home and I headed down to the basement to go through some stuff, break down boxes to go out this week and find the car seat. After 2 hours I was having trouble walking and it was tough getting back up the stairs. I took a hot shower and lay down in bed. Len got takeout and after dinner I went back to relaxing.
Sunday Nate and I relaxed until Len woke up and then we got ready to clean out the garage. This has been looming over my head for a year now (Hurricane Sandy made us throw everything into the garage and it seemed like nothing came back out this summer) and I was feeling pressure to just get it done. By 3:15pm we were done and I took a hot shower and hit the couch with Nate. By 5:30pm I couldn’t get back off the couch. My pelvis, hips and back were killing me but I blamed being on my feet and bending and sweeping, etc.
Last night I couldn’t fall asleep because I couldn’t get comfortable. I was at work all day so there was no reason for my body to hurt so much. I decided to look up pelvic pain in pregnancy and immediately hit on Syphysis Pubic Dysfunction (SPD). It is a condition where the pelvis opens naturally during the end of pregnancy to allow the baby to pass through but it opens too much and there is too much movement causing extreme pain and can even dislocate in some cases. I had to put the iPad away and forget about it. I figured if I still had the severe pain in the morning I would call the doctor. I was up at 5am and watched some TV and got ready to go to work. I felt horrible and called the doctor as soon as they opened. My OB pushed on my pubic bone and immediately diagnosed SPD. She also dropped the bomb that there is no cure and childbirth could actually make it worse and it could linger for months after I give birth. She apologized (I love this woman!) and said the maternity belt and massage therapy will help but a c-section may be my only option if it gets worse.
It is going to be really difficult but I am turning over a new leaf for the next 2 months and I am going to take it easy. Love is just going to have to help more and certain things are just not going to get done. It’s going to be very hard but I need to fight through mentally or physically I will be a mess. This too shall pass…
I have been having pain in my pelvic region for about 2 months now but it wasn’t too bad and it came and went, so I just thought it was the way he is positioned that was creating the problem. I bought a maternity belt, which I always wondered why anyone would need, but it was a miracle cure especially on days that I was on my feet a lot. Recently the pain has been a lot worse at night and especially when I try to roll over in bed or get out of the bed to go to the bathroom (which is almost an hourly ritual lately). Getting off the couch has also become a chore along with walking up stairs and getting in and out of the car. Alright, I guess if I look back it has been bad for a bit but I handle pain well so I’ve just chugged along.
This past weekend was a little busy. We started with Nate’s soccer practice and then headed to my parent’s house for some lunch and a visit with my brother and nephew. I was feeling sluggish and slow but I didn’t sleep well so I thought I was just tired. We got home and I headed down to the basement to go through some stuff, break down boxes to go out this week and find the car seat. After 2 hours I was having trouble walking and it was tough getting back up the stairs. I took a hot shower and lay down in bed. Len got takeout and after dinner I went back to relaxing.
Sunday Nate and I relaxed until Len woke up and then we got ready to clean out the garage. This has been looming over my head for a year now (Hurricane Sandy made us throw everything into the garage and it seemed like nothing came back out this summer) and I was feeling pressure to just get it done. By 3:15pm we were done and I took a hot shower and hit the couch with Nate. By 5:30pm I couldn’t get back off the couch. My pelvis, hips and back were killing me but I blamed being on my feet and bending and sweeping, etc.
Last night I couldn’t fall asleep because I couldn’t get comfortable. I was at work all day so there was no reason for my body to hurt so much. I decided to look up pelvic pain in pregnancy and immediately hit on Syphysis Pubic Dysfunction (SPD). It is a condition where the pelvis opens naturally during the end of pregnancy to allow the baby to pass through but it opens too much and there is too much movement causing extreme pain and can even dislocate in some cases. I had to put the iPad away and forget about it. I figured if I still had the severe pain in the morning I would call the doctor. I was up at 5am and watched some TV and got ready to go to work. I felt horrible and called the doctor as soon as they opened. My OB pushed on my pubic bone and immediately diagnosed SPD. She also dropped the bomb that there is no cure and childbirth could actually make it worse and it could linger for months after I give birth. She apologized (I love this woman!) and said the maternity belt and massage therapy will help but a c-section may be my only option if it gets worse.
It is going to be really difficult but I am turning over a new leaf for the next 2 months and I am going to take it easy. Love is just going to have to help more and certain things are just not going to get done. It’s going to be very hard but I need to fight through mentally or physically I will be a mess. This too shall pass…
Wednesday, September 11, 2013
31 Weeks and Lots of Changes!
Summer is over (I could cry just writing that) and it was a crazy few months. I have been looking forward to fall for some peace, but of course I was insane to think that that would happen! First a quick recap of the end of summer…
Nate turned 5! That was the big news at our house this summer. As my belly got bigger I watched Nate grow into a 5-year old who was so excited to have a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle party to celebrate. This year I decided against a house party because at 6-months pregnant I could not handle it. We had the party at Jump which has bouncers and an arcade. It worked out really well because the kids spent a half hour in two separate rooms with different bouncers, a half hour in the arcade and a half hour for pizza and cake. Two hours and we were done! Nate had a great time with his friends even after he had a little accident which resulted in a bloody nose and fat, bruised lip. He could not wait to get home and tear into his presents and he loved everything he received (I’m still working on sending thank you notes…another mommy fail).
After his party we moved into back to school mode. Preparing for kindergarten was exciting and sad for both of us. We were both excited to shop for new clothes and sneakers and especially school supplies. I got some great deals on his clothes and I was super excited to be done mid-August. We then moved on to prep for soccer. That’s right…Nate decided that he wanted to play soccer this year so I signed him up and we bought him cleats and shin guards. He’s excited to run around and we pick up his uniform this weekend and he starts playing the following weekend. I have him playing right near my parent’s house so they can jump in and help me out when I am 9 months pregnant, especially when Love is working. One of his friends is also playing for the first time so I think he will do well.
Labor Day came quicker than I expected this year. I feel like I have been pregnant forever yet the summer flew by. Nate started school the day after Labor Day and I was a wreck. I went in to work late so I could get him on the bus and take photos. He woke me up at 6:30am ready to get dressed and on the bus. I told him he needed to relax and have some breakfast first. As we got ready thunder started to roll in and I knew it was not going to be a fun morning at the bus stop. We walked down early and took umbrellas just in case. Our neighbor came down with his two kids and another little girl came down soon after. The thunder was getting closer and soon lightning followed. Our neighbor went and got his car and after the skies opened up the kids jumped into his car. We were all soaked through and the umbrellas did little to help. Soon the bus arrived and I held the umbrella as the kids jumped on the bus…without even saying goodbye Nate was on the bus and off to his first day of school…and I cried the whole way back to the house. I was grateful that the storm came through when it did because there was no time for any of us to get upset. When he got off the bus he said he had a great day and was excited to go back. Success!
Or so I thought…after two days of school the Jewish holidays were upon us and Nate had a four day weekend. After spending so much time with Love, Nate decided that they should just stay home together all the time. I had to convince him that he had to go to school but he got dressed and seemed okay. Love reported back that Nate cried getting on the bus and off the bus on Monday. Nate said another little girl cried too but he was fine when he got to school. We had meet the teacher night on Monday and we like his teacher and so does Nate which is much more important. She said his first three days went well and I hope that continues. He has cried the last two days getting on and off the bus but this morning Love reported that he stopped crying as soon as he sat in his seat…we’re making progress!
This morning I went for my 31 week check and had a sonogram. Baby Evan is roughly 3.9 pounds and on target for size. He has plenty of amniotic fluid (I had a little scare two weeks ago where I thought I was leaking fluid but luckily it was a false alarm) and is head down. This little boy is ready to go! His room is almost ready, although the rest of my house is a disaster but at least he and Nate have clean rooms. We have a lot going on the next few weekends and I am feeling the nesting pressure. We need to clean out the garage, begin the fall clean up outside, put together the baby’s furniture and other items and clean the basement…and we have 9 weeks to do it if he is not early…and Love works every third weekend…and I don’t sleep much…it’s worse when I type it out! I have faith that it will all get done and I will be relaxing before I have this baby. A girl can dream right?
Nate turned 5! That was the big news at our house this summer. As my belly got bigger I watched Nate grow into a 5-year old who was so excited to have a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle party to celebrate. This year I decided against a house party because at 6-months pregnant I could not handle it. We had the party at Jump which has bouncers and an arcade. It worked out really well because the kids spent a half hour in two separate rooms with different bouncers, a half hour in the arcade and a half hour for pizza and cake. Two hours and we were done! Nate had a great time with his friends even after he had a little accident which resulted in a bloody nose and fat, bruised lip. He could not wait to get home and tear into his presents and he loved everything he received (I’m still working on sending thank you notes…another mommy fail).
After his party we moved into back to school mode. Preparing for kindergarten was exciting and sad for both of us. We were both excited to shop for new clothes and sneakers and especially school supplies. I got some great deals on his clothes and I was super excited to be done mid-August. We then moved on to prep for soccer. That’s right…Nate decided that he wanted to play soccer this year so I signed him up and we bought him cleats and shin guards. He’s excited to run around and we pick up his uniform this weekend and he starts playing the following weekend. I have him playing right near my parent’s house so they can jump in and help me out when I am 9 months pregnant, especially when Love is working. One of his friends is also playing for the first time so I think he will do well.
Labor Day came quicker than I expected this year. I feel like I have been pregnant forever yet the summer flew by. Nate started school the day after Labor Day and I was a wreck. I went in to work late so I could get him on the bus and take photos. He woke me up at 6:30am ready to get dressed and on the bus. I told him he needed to relax and have some breakfast first. As we got ready thunder started to roll in and I knew it was not going to be a fun morning at the bus stop. We walked down early and took umbrellas just in case. Our neighbor came down with his two kids and another little girl came down soon after. The thunder was getting closer and soon lightning followed. Our neighbor went and got his car and after the skies opened up the kids jumped into his car. We were all soaked through and the umbrellas did little to help. Soon the bus arrived and I held the umbrella as the kids jumped on the bus…without even saying goodbye Nate was on the bus and off to his first day of school…and I cried the whole way back to the house. I was grateful that the storm came through when it did because there was no time for any of us to get upset. When he got off the bus he said he had a great day and was excited to go back. Success!
Or so I thought…after two days of school the Jewish holidays were upon us and Nate had a four day weekend. After spending so much time with Love, Nate decided that they should just stay home together all the time. I had to convince him that he had to go to school but he got dressed and seemed okay. Love reported back that Nate cried getting on the bus and off the bus on Monday. Nate said another little girl cried too but he was fine when he got to school. We had meet the teacher night on Monday and we like his teacher and so does Nate which is much more important. She said his first three days went well and I hope that continues. He has cried the last two days getting on and off the bus but this morning Love reported that he stopped crying as soon as he sat in his seat…we’re making progress!
This morning I went for my 31 week check and had a sonogram. Baby Evan is roughly 3.9 pounds and on target for size. He has plenty of amniotic fluid (I had a little scare two weeks ago where I thought I was leaking fluid but luckily it was a false alarm) and is head down. This little boy is ready to go! His room is almost ready, although the rest of my house is a disaster but at least he and Nate have clean rooms. We have a lot going on the next few weekends and I am feeling the nesting pressure. We need to clean out the garage, begin the fall clean up outside, put together the baby’s furniture and other items and clean the basement…and we have 9 weeks to do it if he is not early…and Love works every third weekend…and I don’t sleep much…it’s worse when I type it out! I have faith that it will all get done and I will be relaxing before I have this baby. A girl can dream right?
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