I don’t remember being a total emotional mess when I was pregnant with Nate. I was scatter-brained and could hardly talk because I was always grasping for the word that was just on the tip of my tongue…this time around I am a big fat mess. Nate’s Pre-K graduation was last Friday and I took tissues with me knowing I would cry. Luckily his friend’s mom had been crying all day so I didn’t feel too terrible and when we began crying at the same time and I was able to offer her a tissue I felt a little better. Something about seeing these little kids dressed in their caps and gowns singing a cute song really got to me. I was also sad because it makes me think about him starting kindergarten and I hope that he will be back on track with his emotional issues.
Knowing how easily I cry (driving to work I hear ANY song and just start tearing up) I made the terrible mistake of watching I’m Having Their Baby. In case you have never heard of it, it’s a reality show on the WE network and it follows pregnant woman in their 3rd trimester as they struggle with their decision to give their unborn children up for adoption. If I wasn’t pregnant I would cry while watching this but now I bawl as I watch it. I sit in bed and do the ugly cry while these women sign away their rights to their tiny little babies in the bassinet beside them. The thing that really gets me is that most of the episodes I have seen involve women who already have children and the fathers are sometimes even still in the picture yet they realize they cannot afford to keep the child. Now you can argue that they shouldn’t have gotten themselves in the situation to begin with, but I cannot imagine carrying a child for 9 months knowing that I would have to give that baby away, and I commend them for knowing that the child can have a better life with someone else. I want to cry just thinking about it. Damn!
My forgetfulness is becoming a joke around my office. I stammer and stutter trying to come up with the word I am trying to say and the ladies think it’s hysterical that I am losing my mind. I am well known around the office for my elephant like memory so when I begin to forget things in general and can’t even talk they know it’s bad. This kid is sucking the life out of me. Of course this time around I know that I will bounce back to my old self in time once this little boy is born. Last time I was afraid that “mommy brain” was a debilitating disease that would never end. Now I know that it never really goes away and the cause is major exhaustion from lack of sleep for YEARS but it does get better. Nate has been sleeping in his bed for quite some time now…just in time for this little one to keep me up all night…
Thursday, June 20, 2013
Friday, June 7, 2013
Morning Madness
Let me start by saying that I have enough trouble getting myself out of bed in the morning. I am not and probably never will be a morning person. If I am awake at 6am then I need a nap at 2pm or I will be fast asleep at 8pm for the night. My wonderful husband has always been a morning person and I always hated him for it. Why couldn’t he be a night owl like me? Every time we went somewhere after 7pm he would be ready to leave by 10pm while I wanted to stay out until 2am. Then we had a child.
When Nate was first born I adjusted (very grudgingly) to getting up early to feed him until I went back to work and Love and I agreed I would take the 10pm feeding and put him to bed and Love would do the 5am feeding and put him back down. This worked like a charm, I could get up just before 7am, shower and get ready with just enough time to wake Nate, get him dressed and get to daycare. He has always eaten breakfast at daycare so my mornings have basically stayed the same for the last 5 years.
Nate recently began sleeping through the night in his new bed (which is a blessing) and with the new addition of a TV in his room he rises with no complaints (at 6:15), turns on the TV and hangs out until my alarm goes off a half hour later. As soon as he hears me attempting to get out of bed (which is becoming increasingly harder these days) he pounces on me. He likes to start my day by giving the baby a big hug and I have to fend him off to rush to the bathroom because this kid that is the size of an avocado must live on my bladder. He heads back to his room while I shower.
Once I get out of the shower the real fun begins. Nate fires off question after question about anything that comes to mind…while I am still half asleep and have to ask him over and over to repeat himself because the bathroom exhaust fan is on. He will usually play on the iPad for a little while and then get himself dressed before coming at me with more questions while I struggle to blow dry my hair and pick out clothes. Once I am almost finished I ask him to get on shoes and tell me what he wants for lunch. This can turn into a whiny 10 minute argument so I give him all of his options and hope one sounds appealing. You are probably wondering why we don’t make lunch the night before like most busy parents…because my child is like his daddy and he changes his mind as the wind sways…and I am not a fan of preparing lunch twice for a 4-year old. Lunch box packed I throw it in his backpack, grab my bag and put on shoes and we head off to school. Today we added in the whining about having to wear a rain coat.
I long for the days of simplicity on days like today but I also take comfort knowing that I am not alone. I am one of millions of working moms struggling to get her kid and herself out the door in the morning and hopefully get to work on time. I will also be doubling the insanity later this year with the addition of this baby…I’m not a religious woman but God help me.
When Nate was first born I adjusted (very grudgingly) to getting up early to feed him until I went back to work and Love and I agreed I would take the 10pm feeding and put him to bed and Love would do the 5am feeding and put him back down. This worked like a charm, I could get up just before 7am, shower and get ready with just enough time to wake Nate, get him dressed and get to daycare. He has always eaten breakfast at daycare so my mornings have basically stayed the same for the last 5 years.
Nate recently began sleeping through the night in his new bed (which is a blessing) and with the new addition of a TV in his room he rises with no complaints (at 6:15), turns on the TV and hangs out until my alarm goes off a half hour later. As soon as he hears me attempting to get out of bed (which is becoming increasingly harder these days) he pounces on me. He likes to start my day by giving the baby a big hug and I have to fend him off to rush to the bathroom because this kid that is the size of an avocado must live on my bladder. He heads back to his room while I shower.
Once I get out of the shower the real fun begins. Nate fires off question after question about anything that comes to mind…while I am still half asleep and have to ask him over and over to repeat himself because the bathroom exhaust fan is on. He will usually play on the iPad for a little while and then get himself dressed before coming at me with more questions while I struggle to blow dry my hair and pick out clothes. Once I am almost finished I ask him to get on shoes and tell me what he wants for lunch. This can turn into a whiny 10 minute argument so I give him all of his options and hope one sounds appealing. You are probably wondering why we don’t make lunch the night before like most busy parents…because my child is like his daddy and he changes his mind as the wind sways…and I am not a fan of preparing lunch twice for a 4-year old. Lunch box packed I throw it in his backpack, grab my bag and put on shoes and we head off to school. Today we added in the whining about having to wear a rain coat.
I long for the days of simplicity on days like today but I also take comfort knowing that I am not alone. I am one of millions of working moms struggling to get her kid and herself out the door in the morning and hopefully get to work on time. I will also be doubling the insanity later this year with the addition of this baby…I’m not a religious woman but God help me.
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