As of yesterday I am officially 37 weeks and I could not be more ready to have this baby. It hit me at the beginning of the week that when I was pregnant with Nate I was on bed rest at 36 weeks and he was born at 37. I was out of work and laying around my house napping just me and the dog waiting for a baby. I have been dragging myself through the days this week and I feel like my skin can’t possibly stretch anymore and I am getting full very quick because my stomach must be squashed. Have I mentioned how cranky I am? It doesn’t help that every morning when I show up for work by boss sees it as an opportunity to give me more work. I am trying to tie up several projects so I am not too thrilled to have more work added to my list…and he knows it!
I have been doing everything I can to move things along. I have been hitting pressure points, walking, jumping up and down (my co-workers were not fans of that one!) and I got a really great massage yesterday which I was sure would get labor going and nothing! Working 2 blocks away from the hospital I have been hoping to go into labor while I am on the clock so I don’t have to go all the way home and come back (2 extra hours in the car!). As time ticks away during the day I get more depressed that this kid is never coming out…even though I know he obviously is. I would like him to come out when it’s convenient for me and of course that is not happening. I’m so over the itchy belly, pressure and pain down below, back pain, heartburn, leg cramps and spending all night trying to get comfortable so I can be refreshed for work.
People think I’m crazy to complain because they say it’s easier to be pregnant than have a newborn at home but I am so ready to be home with the baby for so many reasons.
1. I want my body back. It wasn’t great before, but it was better than having this basketball in front of me at all times. I actually had to move my car at Target last weekend because I couldn’t get out of the car! The waddle is getting old.
2. I want to see what he looks like! I remember worrying so much that Nate would be ugly and he is a gorgeous little boy. I’m hoping this one is just as good looking.
3. I want to start using all the baby stuff. The nursery has been ready for a couple of weeks and I feel like it’s collecting dust waiting for this little man to get here. I want to start swaddling this kid already!
4. I want to spend more time with my family. I may take that one back in a month or so but I feel like we have no quality time together. I never see Love because of our work schedules (bumping into him at 1am in the bathroom isn’t as romantic as it sounds) and I get a couple of hours a night with Nate and one in the morning. Weekends are always filled with running errands, laundry and cleaning the house.
5. I want to know what being a stay-at-home mom is like. When I had Nate I felt rushed back to work because I could only afford a 12-week leave and only had 11 weeks with him. I hated dropping him at daycare everyday and trudging to the office. This time I planned ahead for health insurance and expenses and am able to take a longer leave. My only fear is not wanting to go back after 6-months off but my raise should help with that fear since it goes into effect upon my return.
6. My mom won’t be at my house everyday. Don’t get me wrong, I love my mother and I really appreciate that she has always offered to help with Nate. She has made being a working mom much easier on me and my wallet. The problem is that she complains about all of the things that need to be done around my house. She’s always doing the dishes and vacuuming and folding laundry, etc. After working an 8 hour day with an hour commute each way I am not always in the mood to do dishes…and sometimes after doing laundry all day Sunday I don’t feel like folding the towels at 9pm. It can wait until the next day…or day after that. We are all healthy and happy and doing all of the housework that she feels needs to be done is not a priority sometimes. I’d rather spend 15 minutes reading to Nate and cuddling with him and let the dishes sit in the sink.
7. I get to watch Breaking Bad! Okay, this is a totally selfish motivation but I plan to watch Breaking bad from the beginning because I have never seen a minute of the show. If I get through it quickly enough I would also like to watch The Wire (Idris Elba!) and Deadwood (Timothy Olyphant and Garret Dillahunt!) and perhaps Veep. We’ll see how much free time I have on my hands.
The bottom line is I am really looking forward to a change of pace in my life for a little while. People say spend as much time at home as you can and I am really going to try and enjoy it. I know when I return to work that things are going to be very different with my promotion and it will be the beginning of our busy season. It’s a good time to be out on leave since it is a little slower and it will be a good time to return because my days will go by quickly.
Now it’s up to this baby to get things going!!!
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