As a kid I was a skinny little thing. I was always the tallest in the class and I was a picky eater. In high school I didn't appreciate the fact that I had a nice shape and in college I tried to hide behind big clothes because I thought I was fat. After college I started going to the gym for the first time and I was happy being a size 12. I have always had a big ass (which I found out plenty of men like) and I finally got boobs in college. When I got married I bought a size 14 wedding dress that had to be taken in. I thought I looked great and did not feel fat at all. At the time a friend of mine said I was the hottest bride he had ever seen and I felt that way. About 6 months into my marriage that all changed. I got a little too comfy being married and gained some weight. I decided that I needed to join Weight Watchers.
Nine months later I weighed 145 pounds and was a size 8. It felt great to buy new clothes and shop in stores that I wouldn't have dreamt of before that. I started a new job (where I still work) and nobody ever knew that I had a weight problem. Three years later we bought our house and started trying to get pregnant and everything changed. After 6 months of trying I was depressed and eating became a source of comfort. Six months later I turned 30 and our good friends announced that they were pregnant. I cried for weeks and slept all the time. It was the summer but I didn't want to go to the parties our friends were having because I knew everyone would ask when we were going to have a baby. Six months later in December 2007 we found out we were expecting. We were so excited but I had already gained 40 pounds and I knew it was only going to get worse.
When I hit 200 pounds during my pregnancy I promised myself that I would drop the weight even if it took me a while. Here I am almost 4 years later and I am still struggling. I need 2012 to be the year that I finally lose the weight. I will not have another baby until I lose 40 more pounds and get to my goal weight. Those 40 pounds have been haunting me for too long. I turn 35 in 6 months and I want to be able to wear a bikini to the beach this summer. It's a big goal but I need to get there this time. I have done it before and I know I can do it again. Plus I'm trying hypnosis in 2 weeks...that has to work...right?
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