My Yoga Pants Will Finally Go To Yoga!

I work at a hospital that has a wellness center that offers yoga, pilates and other health classes at a discounted rate to employees.  When I did the hypnosis I only paid $35 instead of $75 because of a grant from a generous donor.  I have never met this woman but I love her.  She gave the hospital money to subsidize wellness services for the employees to help lower our stress levels and help us better serve the needs of our patients.  I don’t work directly with patients but I still have plenty of stress.  Most of it is not work related but a large enough portion is.  I have been thinking about taking a yoga class because I used to love doing it years ago.  I am really into meditation lately and I think yoga goes along well with that.

I found out this week that there is now a “gentle” yoga class that is free for employees every Monday and Friday.  I immediately jumped on it and my friend and co-worker Aimee agreed to join me.  I think that this is the perfect way to get in a little exercise during the day, no matter what the weather is like, and get some stress relief at the same time.  It will also help with balance and circulation which is a bonus because I’m clumsy and have poor circulation.  I’m basically a big old mess inside with an okay package on the outside…I’m always working on both but just the outside seems to be changing lately.  Maybe I need to schedule a massage to go along with my yoga.  A good massage always makes me feel better and who doesn’t love a massage?  I think this plan is coming together well J

Walk a Mile in Your Own Shoes

Last night I was hoping to make my 10% goal at Weight Watchers…and I didn’t.  I was really mad at myself because I know that I did not have a good week and I could have made better food choices.  I decided not to let it get to me because the past has passed and I need to move forward and keep going.  I woke up this morning and decided to bring my yoga pants and sneakers with me to work since Rich Hoffman said it would be a nice sunny day.  I had a good breakfast and tracked my points and at noon I changed and headed outside.  It was much nicer out than I thought it would be so I headed down to the beach.  I walked for an hour and kept a good pace.  We discussed last night how good you feel after exercising and I can honestly say that yes, I do feel better now.  Between the fresh air and just getting out of my office and moving it was really nice.  I decided to leave my yoga pants here which will help get me out walking more often…I hope!

While I am on the subject of Walkers I have to admit what a fan I am of The Walking Dead (attention…spoilers ahead).  I get excited for Monday night because I look forward to getting cozy on the couch and pulling it up on my DVR.  One of my best friends always tells me that I am more like a dude than a girl because of my taste in TV and movies and the way I talk, burp, drive…you get the idea.  I readily admit that I am not a girly girl and there is nothing I love more than watching things filled with gore and sex. 

The Walking Dead has had its ups and downs over the 2 seasons so far but I am usually pretty happy with it.  It has characters that I love and more that I hate.  I would love for the whole show to revolve around Rick and Shane taking their shirts off and beating the crap out of each other.  Sunday’s episode had lots of them beating the crap out of each other and not one bare chest.  What does a lady have to do to get some male nudity in every episode?  I guess I should be happy with the amount of wieners I’m seeing on Spartacus and stop whining…but I digress…

I was really hoping that after Lori crashed her car and was found by a Walker that she would finally be out of the picture.  She started as a character that you could feel sorry for and has evolved into a total bitch who basically sent her husband to kill her probably baby daddy.  Dale (or Daledo as my friend has nicknamed him) is useless and annoying, Andrea lost me at, “I just shot Daryl in the head”, Glenn is a pussy and T-Dog is lucky if he gets to utter one damn line an episode.  I like the drama of their situation and I like that they are always in danger, and of course I love the zombies and the inventive ways they kill them.

Just a regular old house along my walking route 

Only in the Hamptons do people need concrete walls surrounding their homes 

You can never have enough privet 



Friggin Friday

It’s been a rough week even though it was only a 3 day work week for me.  I feel like I have been beat up by life today.  My little nugget has been sleeping in my bed for what feels like the whole night, all week long.  The other night I woke up around 2am and he had taken over my pillow.  When I told him to go share Daddy’s pillow he had the nerve to tell me no and put his little noggin right back down.  I need to get him to sleep in his bed because I am not getting any sleep and my back is killing me. 

The other great thing about having him in our bed at night is that he woke up wet twice this week.  The first time was my fault because I forgot to make him go potty before bed on Monday night because I was distracted by a phone call.  Thankfully the sheets were not wet and I was able to change him and go right back to sleep.  Wednesday night we weren’t so lucky.  He did go potty before bed, but he also drank a whole sippy cup of juice so I should have known that we were doomed.  He woke me up at 4:30am screaming, “I’m wet! Mommy change meeeeeeeee!” and at that exact moment I realized that both of my hands were asleep.  I tried to wake up Love who didn’t budge an inch.  After my hands came back to life I checked Nate and realized that from the amount of pee on his undies and pants there was no way that my bed was dry.  I tried to wake Love again so I could change the sheets but he didn’t move again so we left him next to the wet spot and went and slept on the couch.

Last night I took away the sippy cup shortly after dinner and threatened to make him wear a pull up if he insisted on drinking more.  He was adamant that he would not wear a pull up again, so he went potty before bed and we all hoped for the best.  I was very happy this morning when I woke up to a dry bed.  I’m going to read up on sleep training toddlers and work on him this weekend.  If you have any suggestions I would love to hear them.  Wish me luck!

 Nate is really cute when he sleeps...I just wish he'd do it somewhere else

 I was telling Nate to get up this morning and Blue decided to get up on my bed

We went to the beach on Wednesday to play since it was 55 degrees out 

 Tough Guy

 Flags from the countries of the victims of Flight 800

 One of the walls at the Flight 800 Memorial



20 Down...32 to go!

I have never been afraid to tell people that I go to Weight Watchers.  I am proud that I have never been uncomfortable letting anyone know that I am overweight and I need help.  I realized in 2003 that I could not take the weight loss journey on my own.  I needed a support system of people who were in the exact same place that I was.  I knew that if I had to step on a scale and have someone tell me how good or bad I had done that week that I was going to try and have more good weeks than bad.  We are all human so of course we will never be perfect, and we will have plenty of ups and downs on any path we take in this life.  Weight loss is no different than motherhood.  It is hard as hell but it is so rewarding at the same time.

If I were an alcoholic I would go to AA, if I was a drug addict I would go to NA, I am a food addict so I go to Weight Watchers.  We have weekly meetings and the members share their stories about their day, week or even their entire journey so far.  It is comforting to know that you are not alone and that it is possible to change your habits and lose the weight.  I have often been in situations where I know that I am the fat girl and I wonder if people are looking at me that way.  You know the old, “she has such a pretty face and would be so attractive if she lost the weight”.  I don’t see myself as a beautiful person but I know that people have seen me as the fat girl.  When I go to a Weight Watchers meeting I don’t ever wonder what anyone thinks of me.  In that hour I know that I will not be judged and I will not judge anyone else.  We are all in this together for better or worse, almost like a marriage.  We all cheer each other on when we have a victory on the scale and we cheer each other up when we have a bad week.  It is hard to walk through that door for the first time, but once you do your life will be changed.

Yesterday was an amazing day for me.  I weighed in and lost another 3.2 pounds for a total of 20 pounds.  I was hoping to get there last week but I didn’t get down about it and now I have one pound left to get to my 10%.  I honestly believe that the hypnosis worked for me.  I have seen a loss on the scale every week since I did it and that has kept me going.  I need to start to get in more exercise so I can get these last 32 pounds off of me before the summer.  Bikini here I come!

 I got to meet my nephew Charlie yesterday!

My brother and sister-in-law made a cute little man :)



Baby Charlie :)

I am so happy today that I cannot stop smiling.  My brother and his wife have been awaiting the birth of their son and he finally arrived last night!  He is really cute and I cannot wait to get my hands on him.  They named him Charlie James (which I love) and he weighed in at 6lbs. and 7ozs.  He is a perfect little one and my brother is so proud to be a daddy.  I’m so excited that he has a son because I know how much fun I have had with my little nugget and I know he will have the same joy in his life.  It is true that it changes everything but in such a good way.  I can’t imagine life without Nate and I am sure they already can’t imagine not having Charlie to brighten their day. 

My beautiful nephew!

The sunset driving home told me it would be a perfect night

Winter Blahs

I know I can’t complain because this winter it has been 40 degrees or above pretty much everyday and we’re already halfway through February.  Normally at this time of year I’ve already taken a few days off for snow and I dread getting in the car every morning because of all the ice I need to scrape.  I hate cold weather and snow and ice so this is my kind of winter.  Its 47 degrees right now and I’m wearing a light weight shirt and no shoes while sitting at my desk.  Global Warming is insane.

You would think that I would be so happy right now but I’m not.  I hate the winter for so many other reasons.  I hate that it gets dark early, I keep getting sick, my office is freezing, I have to wear a coat, I can’t wear flip flops, my skin is dry (but my hair isn’t frizzy so it’s a toss up really), I can’t lay on the beach…I could go on but what it really adds up to is that I get depressed during the winter.  I just want to stay in bed and stay warm and watch crappy TV.  That of course is not healthy so I try my best to put on a smile and act happy.  Sometimes it works.

This morning I felt like something had changed.  It’s not sunny out today but it is warm and it was already 40 when we got in the car.  As I walked around the car I realized that it smelled like spring.  Everything was wet and I could hear birds singing.  I got excited as if we may actually make it to spring without a real snow storm.  Then again I could be surprised and have snow on my birthday – in June.

Nate all bundled up to leave for school

Sitting Shiva Isn’t So Bad

Last week was not the greatest week for many reasons.  It started with my boss’ father passing away and ended with me spending 3 straight days in bed sick.  I started to get sick Tuesday night and I should have known it was coming because my mother and Nate were both sick last weekend and he coughed all over me Monday night.  Since my boss was out all week I was looking forward to getting a lot done at the office.  Most people look forward to their bosses being away so they can take advantage and do less work, I am the opposite.  I am his assistant so for me I look forward to getting my work done without a hundred emails and interruptions throughout the day distracting me.  I am great at multitasking, but I love nothing more than to be able to see the bottom of my inbox.  It’s the little things.

I dragged myself to work on Wednesday and everyone stayed away from me.  It was great!  I got so much done and I was looking forward to being the only one in the office on Thursday so I could power through the rest of the work I needed to get to.  Thursday was so quiet and I left at 2pm so I could sit Shiva at my boss’ house.  I have never done this before so of course I hit up Google and learned all about this Jewish tradition that I knew nothing about.  Luckily I was not going alone so I felt a little more comfortable.  I’ve been to plenty of wakes and it’s easy to go in and pay your respects and leave.  Since this was at his house I felt a little awkward but I also felt obligated to go and I thought it might be a nice thing to experience.  When we arrived at the house (bearing food because Google informed me that it is expected) we walked right in the front door which was odd, but again expected.  We stayed for a half hour which is the norm according to Google and we were both glad that we had gone.

By the time I got home Thursday night after picking up Nate, getting groceries and dinner I was ready to fall over from exhaustion but I had to be a mom.  We were off on Friday so we could go Upstate for my Father-in-law’s birthday and I had to pack.  I packed all of Nate’s stuff, laid out all of my stuff to pack and gave up for the night and crashed.  When I woke up Friday I felt even worse and thinking about a 4 hour car ride made me feel sicker.  Love said he was fine with me staying home so I only left my bed for the couch and vice versa for 3 days.  I caught up on all of my shows (including Spartacus!) and I watched Drive with Ryan Gosling.  Quick aside…I swear I could watch him stare into the camera for 2 hours and it would be entertaining.  He is SO good looking.  I thought by today I would be back to normal but I started to feel worse again last night.  I hate this time of year because these things get passed around and around and linger forever.  I am looking forward to things getting back to normal this week before another 3 day weekend.

 My dinner Saturday night...can you tell that I hadn't eaten all day?

That was my first Diet Pepsi in 18 days and it tasted HORRIBLE! Yay!

(and no I did not eat all of that food in one sitting, there are still leftovers in the fridge)

I may have said it before, but if you like violence, blood, nudity and sex
then Spartacus is the show for you!

I want to be Beyonce…

Not because she’s rich and famous or married to Jay-Z (don't get me wrong I like him but I am not exactly attracted to him) or gave birth to her daughter in a luxury suite…because she looks like this ONE MONTH after dropping a kid from her vagine!

Holy crap do I wish that I her body! Okay, so I pretty much have her boobs since I had Nate and I have always had ghetto booty, but I need my mid-section and arms to look like that!  I am so jealous.

Monday, Monday

Today is a real Monday…the amount of sleep I got, my little nugget acting like a complete brat, being late for pre-school drop-off, having Nate cry when I left him at school, finding out my boss’ father passed away this morning…should I go on? It’s one of those days that I would like to start over, but I can’t for fear that I will have to experience all of it all over again. 

I spent the last 3 days with Nate trying to convince him that he needs to stop bullying the little girls in his class.  I’m not sure what is causing him to act out so much and it’s driving me crazy.  I told him last week that he needs to keep his hands to himself and then I find out that he slapped a girl in the face during nap time.  When I questioned him he said she was laughing at him and he didn’t hit her, he slapped her.  He then proceeded to slap the crap out of our refrigerator.  I explained that slapping is hitting and he should keep his hands to himself.  Friday my mom was sick so I picked him up from school and his teacher told me that he took the box that the Legos are kept in (a pretty big box for Mega Blocks size Legos) and put it on top of a little girl and kept pushing down on it.  She said that he told her not to tell me that he did it.  He was in another room and when I asked him if he was good he said, “Yes, I was good today.”  So now I have a liar and a bully on my hands!!!  I asked him in the car what happened with the Legos and he blurted out, “I did not put the box on Angelina!”  I am hoping this is a phase and that he will get through it soon.  He’s 3 ½ as of Friday so I will keep taking away toys and reinforcing that he needs to listen and keep his hands to himself.  And if that doesn’t work I don’t know what I’ll do.

Nugget needs a haircut

Too Much Banging on This Hump Day

Now that I have your attention...I have such a headache right now.  All day there has been a consistent hammering going on 4 doors down from my office and I want to kill myself.  Not really, but maybe the guy using the hammer is a good target.  My office is in an old nursing home (yes, I am aware that it is creepy) and there is a nursing station behind our offices that has been serving as a kitchen for the medical residents who live in this building (yes, it is also creepy to have people sleeping a few feet from where I am working) and for some reason there is now a guy in there tearing out the cabinets.  I don't really care why he's doing it - I just wish he would stop so I can have some of my sanity back.

On a positive note, I am one full week post hypnosis and doing very well.  I have continued to abstain from consuming Diet Pepsi and I lost 1.6 pounds.  I am very happy with the weight I lost even though I REALLY wanted it to be more like 3 pounds or even 4.  I can't be hard on myself though because it is getting me closer to my goal, and a loss is better than a gain.  I am only disappointed because I did a complete 360 in the last week when it comes to eating.  I am only eating when I am hungry and not out of boredom.  I have only been drinking water, seltzer and coffee (I still need my caffeine) and eating a lot more fruits and veggies than I was.  I have been having yogurt or oatmeal every morning and I am tracking my points like a good little Weight Watcher :)  My clothes do feel better though so I know it is working.  Now I need to work on getting some exercise in there too.

I've been loving taking pictures outside lately especially because this time last year we hadn't seen the ground in almost 2 months.  It is almost 60 degrees today and for NY that is ridiculous and I am loving it!

The view from my office window before hypnosis last week

Rainy Night

Yesterday morning the clouds were so pretty over the Pine Barrens

The Shinnecock Canal at lunch today

Another view of the canal