I Lost My Best Friend

It wasn’t a fiery car wreck, a heart attack or even cancer…I lost my best friend to another woman. You’re probably thinking I should man up and move on with my life but I am still sad months after it happened. Let me first make it clear that my best friend was a man, someone who was like a brother to me, well sort of since he ogled my breasts a lot…so maybe that’s not a good comparison. He was actually like my best girlfriend only in a man’s body. He hung out at my house at least once a week (usually after our Weight Watchers meeting) and we texted every day and chatted on the phone sometimes too. And then it happened…the texts were much less frequent…and only during business hours…and now, sadly sometimes weeks go by without a text.

I consider myself smart so I UNDERSTAND why I no longer have a best friend but it doesn’t mean I have to like it. I miss our silly conversations and having someone who was at war with his weight like I am and most of all seeing my son light up when he saw Uncle Mikey at the front door. Now Nate doesn’t even ask for Uncle Mikey. My 4-year old has accepted that he is gone but at 35 I cannot comprehend what happened.

Okay, okay that was a little dramatic. Here’s the deal…Mike had a HUGE crush on this girl and after his recent weight loss (around 140 pounds) the ladies were finally noticing him. This particular girl realized he was into her and when he made his move she was into it. And they lived happily ever after. Well, at least I hope they do. My former bestie found a great woman and for months he has been really happy and that makes me really happy…and sad at the same time.

I don’t need therapy or anything to deal with it; I just need some time to readjust to life without him. Honestly, I have more time on my hands at work without my phone going off all day and I can come home after Weight Watchers and take off my bra and relax instead of socializing. BUT I miss having my emotional friend (as my husband called him – BTW they were friends before I was friends with him) around to talk to about anything and everything. Now when we do talk we have to catch up because it’s been so long. It’s a weird feeling and sometimes I feel like I should just write off the whole relationship but that would be even weirder.

The only comparison I have is when I was 16 and my best friend met a boy and started dating him. We drifted apart because of him and then she got pregnant and that was the end of our friendship. We spent so much time together and all of a sudden she was gone and I was heartbroken. As a teenager I guess you expect friendships to end and you move on and make new friends. At 35 I don’t see myself making a new friend and moving on. Maybe I’ll advertise on Craig’s List for a 40-year old, single, balding, 350 pound man who has no intention of losing the weight…or maybe I will finally except that my best friend has finally found happiness.

 I love a self portrait with a friend :)

This was at my brother's wedding when we were both heavier - but look at how happy we are! Fat AND Happy lol!

This is his new bestie (and my son and her daughter). He caught a good one and her daughter is a wonderful little girl :)